YOU, I AND I AM

You can only be happy in a relationship in the long-term if you cease from looking for the “you” in the other and instead begin to try recognizing yourself in your opposite. Otherwise, sooner or later you will be confounded and feel disappointed/frustrated/angry/sad/confused by their way of being/behaving.

Those you are in a close relationship with (it does not have to be your actual partner but also relates to family, friend, colleagues etc) are but an extended reflection of yourself. Therefore you have to first come to consciously recognize in them the aspects, which are a reflection of your own self before you are in a position to begin understanding the other aspects of their personality, which are not like your own. However, recognition and understanding are not enough if you wish to live in absolute harmony with others. Thereto you also and to love the aspects of your self you are finding reflected in your close acquaintances. 

In short: start looking for the "I" everywhere you go and in whomever you meet and in a second step learn to let go of your "I", too, and instead become the "I am".