A fear that you are carrying around with you, which instead of facing it, you are trying to negate by turning the other way or keep on making excuses for your-self or blaming others in order to detract from it, is like having an ache in your body, which you studiously ignore. However, it does not go away by it-self but rather grows worse because the rest of your body is having to compensate with the effect of getting more and more distorted and the morginal cause getting hidden amongst the ensuing symptoms. Until the day comes where you are deciding to recognize and acknowledge that there is something not right, you will be caught in this cramped style of living. The willingness to look it in the face puts you into the power to make actual changes and to work towards solving the real problem. Maybe, as it has been going on for so long you will need someone to help you unravel the bonds of ignorance you have wound around you because you for your-self are incapable to see where to start,...